Random Update

It's been a while since I've put up a blog here for actual updating purposes so forgive me for that. But I can honestly say you're not missing out on anything.

My life is pretty dull. Other than getting a new sister, there has been nothing even remotely exciting going on.

Lately my brother, my sister, my new sister, and I have been playing the Wii a lot. Bowling and Golf. I kick ass at golf. My brother plays with me multiple times a day. He says that he's going to play me until he beats me. Which is never going to happen lol. I'm better than him at bowling, but I'm not great at it. Weird thing about it is that my brother and I never got along well. Not since we turned to his life of jail time and parole. But once he got married, we've been better. I don't think it's because he's changed. I don't think he'll ever change. I think it's because he is willing to sacrifice that part of him, to keep Terralyn.

This past weekend my niece and my new sisters nieces came over and we had a giant slumber party. Which was entertaining for a good period of time. We watched Hairspray, went to jack in the box, and painted pictures + our toe nails. =) It's nice having people to do that with. Kids take stuff like that with such happiness. Adults and teens just don't care after a while.

I still don't have any friends.

Tomorrow I'm going to Santa Cruz to look for housing. The kind that the government helps with. Scooter is taking me, even though I would much rather Erin take me since she's already been through all that.

I'm using notemine.com a lot. It's not time consuming and it's kind of a helpful website. One of those "get it off your chest" kind of things. Ya'll should try it out.

Well, until next time!

Bibbitt

They're Married

It's official. My brother and Taralyn got married. I Love Taralyn to death she's super cool and fun to hang out with. It's like having, yet another, sister! Sometimes I don't like her but sometimes I don't like everybody. lol. I personally find it strange that my brother got married cause, he's an asshole, but I guess he fits her.

PS
Melissa you better not get married without me there -.-

I made a mistake...

A huge one at that. And those of you that don't know, I'm not very good at admitting when I'm wrong. So if me doing so isn't a big deal to you, then you shouldn't be reading this.

I fucked up. I fell hard for someone who promised me everything I wanted. Someone who promised to take me out of all the drama that came with being where I am. Promised to take me as me, and love me as that. With all my faults and flaws, he promised to take care of me. And knew that it wasn't real. Inside, I did. But I couldn't talk myself out of the hope that it could be true.Because of that, I lost two friends that I think about everyday. Two friends I will think about the rest of my life. Wishing that I hadn't done what I had done. I didn't choose. It's not that I didn't choose them, it's that I didn't choose at all. I hoped that I could keep both. Two of my last few friends left, were lost. In no way was it their fault. It was all me. When they left, I didn't do anything. I stand by my choice to not do anything, but once they left I leaned onto him. Hoping that he would stand by my side through anything that happened, just like he had promised. And as I was leaning, he suddenly stepped away, and watched me fall .He said he couldn't handle the drama that surrounds me. And suddenly, I had not only lost my friend, but I had lost the man who was the cause of me losing my friends. And there was no one; except Alina. Who, though she loves to jabber, isn't that helpful to talk to.

I don't expect to be forgiven, or given another chance, or anything like that. Honestly, if I was on the opposite side of this table, I wouldn't offer any more cards. I just needed someone, anyone, to know that I'm sorry. And that I miss the three I lost. But that if I had to do it over, I wouldn't change a thing. Becuase for a little while, I was COMPLETELY happy. And that's not something that I've had the pleasure of feeling.

Everyone wants their moment of happiness, I wasn't going to wait to try to have mine.

I'm Sorry, I Love you, No Regrets

Lately

Well, I got my driving permit. Becka was mad because I got it on my first try and it took her til her second. But her and I have been getting closer and whatnot. It won't last long. Just until her boyfriend starts spendin' more time with her. But that's okay. Little moments right? That's pretty much all that's been goin' on. Thought I'd put it up.